just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
