we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
