Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
