girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
