Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
