I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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