one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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