Welp...herpes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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