Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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