I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
