Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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