would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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