nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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