So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
