a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
