ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
