I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
