Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
