i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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