my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
