I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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