Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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