I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
