I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
did you just send me my own nude
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
