I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
