her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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