I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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