Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
