Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
