You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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