idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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