your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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