I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
