Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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