You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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