@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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