I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
