did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
