I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
