bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i came on her dog
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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