Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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