Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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