Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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