So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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