I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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