Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
