i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
one two three fourrrrnication!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
