im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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