she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
