I smell stomach acid.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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