I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
