Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
